Isolation: day 62

Image: Pixabay via StockSnap

It’s hard to believe the last time I wrote one of these, we were only a couple of weeks into lockdown. We are now two months in and things are very different, but also the same.

On that routine I always wanted to get into – well guess what, I never did. And I stopped beating myself up over it because the allure of productivity and the pressures to be busy all the time is so mentally draining, that whilst being swept up by it you can lose the reason why you wanted to be productive in the first place. I’m done with the concept and discourse surrounding it, especially during these times, when to just get through it should be seen as productive enough.

So what have I been doing? I’ve still been reading and writing, albeit not doing the kind of writing I want to do as I’m struggling to find the motivation to write about anything more ‘serious’ than book reviews – but that’s okay. I have been able to use this time to focus on my blog and regularly posting – I hit 60 followers yesterday which is somewhat of a milestone for me, as I started off with about twelve at the start of the year! Thank you to everyone who has followed me and given me kind words of advice and encouragement 🙂

I’ve lost the will to exercise. I seem to go through weeks where I am really motivated – for example, one week I went running twice and did other workouts too, but the past couple of weeks I haven’t been doing much apart from long walks. We are going through a hot spell in the UK and it really doesn’t make me want to go out and exercise, and it gets so stuffy in the flat that I don’t feel like doing it inside either. These may sounds like excuses (lets face it they probably are) but hopefully I’ll be able to get back into it soon.

Photo by Elina Sazonova on Pexels.com

I’ve been trying to be more mindful of what I am eating – I was previously just eating the amount I would usually eat, but then I realised I wasn’t nearly doing the amount of daily exercise I used to. As a Barista I tend to spend eight hours of the day on my feet but now I tend to spend them on the sofa… I’ve been doing intermittent fasting a couple of times a week just to become more conscious about what I’m eating and I think it has helped. I don’t weigh myself or anything because I find that mentally exhausting. But I’ve come to be more accepting that gaining weight over this period is completely normal and I’m not going to beat myself up over it (and neither should you!)

The government guidelines have gotten even more confusing. We have now been advised to, “stay alert” rather than, “stay at home” however, I am finding myself staying at home more than ever because there are so many people out that still don’t take social distancing seriously. I get anxious even at the thought of going to my local park so that’s a write off. As we are now allowed to drive out of where we live to exercise, we have been going on long walks in the countryside – which I have loved as there’s very little people and when we do bump into them, they are kind and move out of the way.

There’s still no real clarity about when retail and hospitality will go back to “normal” – the government have proposed June or July as a guideline but that’s subject to changes in the data. As I use public transport for work I’m pretty sure I’ll be one of the last people to go back but who knows what will happen.

I still find it crazy how we are seeing 300-500 deaths a day, nearly two months on and people are still not taking the virus seriously. I get that we have to learn to live with the virus but at the same time, it’s so easy to just be respectful of others and simply step out of the way when you’re out and about – it seems to have become a thing of the past where I live.

I’ve been thinking more about what I want to do with my life, I haven’t had any “revelations” as such but I think more than ever I do want to pursue my MA in Journalism. I’ve been listening to podcasts about freelancing and writing in general and it has made me realise just how many aspects of journalism there are out there. I’ve deferred my place for a year, partly because I don’t know what’s going to happen with the course this year – as so many UK university’s have decided to teach online until 2021 already. I’ve decided to use this year to try and get as much writing experience as I can and read about the industry more generally.

I guess that’s my little update on still being in isolation in the UK. Expect some more reviews soon, I now have a speedy new laptop so it doesn’t take half the time to do something on my blog now!

Anyway, if you’re reading this I hope this chatty post finds you safe and well, wherever you are, Violet xxx

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Productivity pressures during COVID-19

If you’d have told me 2 months ago that I was going to get 8 weeks and possibly more of free time to write and do whatever I want, I would have jumped at the challenge to bash out the next King Lear. I’m only talking about King Lear above all the other plays because everyone keeps banging on about how Shakespeare wrote King Lear during quarantine…

But now, 7 weeks in, I find myself feeling disappointed. Not because I haven’t written, but because I haven’t pushed myself to write about other subjects I care about. This whole COVID-19 crisis has made me so angry, mainly due to the government’s poor response here in the UK. Everyday I think about writing something about it – my drafts folder on my blog is full of unpublished things I’ve written in the heat of the moment. But for some reason I’ve found that writing about politics and COVID-19 is so hard, I lack clarity when I write, and the ability to form a coherent argument. This is something I did over and over again whilst studying history at university, and because of this – I feel I should be able to do it with more ease.

I’ve been loving writing book reviews – but anything beyond this has been impossible. And I’m annoyed as I could have used this time more wisely – but the words just won’t flow. There are so many things I feel I want to say about COVID-19 but don’t know how to say them. With pushing back my MA for another year, I feel I ought to be ceasing every moment to write and expand my horizons but I lack the confidence to pitch to other media organisations and websites. Why would they want to hear from me? Why is my opinion or outlook any different? But at the same time, I know I could be using this time to work on it. And I know what I have to say does matter too. Self doubt is a real thing, isn’t it?

I keep telling myself it is ultimately fine, as I am still writing and thinking about what I want to write, even if I’m not always getting pen to paper. Or fingertips to keys, however you want to look at it. Being unproductive, and lacking the will to write is ultimately okay – the pressure we put on ourselves can outweigh the energy and creativity that we initially have. The pressure can manifest itself in self doubt, anxiety and lack of motivation – and that’s definitely what I’ve been feeling at the moment. I know I need to be less hard on myself, but it is easier said than done. And I know I don’t need to write the next King Lear(it’s not even the best Shakespeare, lets be honest…)

Image: Pixabay

COVID is here to stay, I don’t think we’ll be only living with it for the remainder of the year, but far beyond. It will become the, “new normal” as they keep saying, thus, I’ve got to get over this writing barrier. Maybe it’s my distance spent from the mental challenge that academia used to bring. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because we are in the middle of a global pandemic not seen on the same scale since 1918, and it is really really hard to motivate yourself to do anything meaningful.

There’s so much pressure in the media and online to make something of yourself during this time, to lose weight, to get fit, to write a book, to bake – and it’s hard when your outcomes do not live up to these false expectations. Because it is not just “free time” it’s a hard time – where everything we have been used to have been taken away from us. Where we cannot access those small comforts we once had, and where our days lack the routine that working life usually brings.

On a serious note – the pressure to make something of this time is real and felt by many. It’s something that I need to shift to the back of my mind and not let cloud my passion for writing. But at times like these, which are very unique and surreal, it is hard to do, and this should be spoken about more. If anyone says to me, “what did you do whilst in quarantine?” and scoffs at my lack of achievements, then they must be the biggest superhero in the world, as this is one of the hardest times – and we shouldn’t treat it as a pathway to guaranteed productivity. And guess what? It’s actually okay to not be doing anything. Especially if that means we take that pressure off ourselves.

What we do with out time isn’t some kind of productivity competition over who can achieve the most – and it is easy to see it as this, when we are all spending more time on social media, which portrays life through a golden haze. But it is a time where we should banish the ideas and pressures behind “productivity” all together. It’s a word that is constantly bashed around in media and academic discourse, but once we free ourselves from its reigns, we may actually find ourselves better off.

Book Review: The Bullet Journal Method

I’ve dabbled with the bullet journal over the years, only to abandon it in the past as I’ve ended up finding it too time consuming. However, upon reading this book, I have realised that is exactly the opposite of what bullet journaling should be. With more time on my hands, and spending more time journaling in general, I decided to read the official guide to learn more about it.

What is the Bullet Journal method?

The Bullet Journal method was conceived by designer, Ryder Carroll, when he was searching for a more productive means to manage his life. It is a type of journaling which aims in the most simplest forms, to give space for your tasks, thoughts, and anything else in-between. In being a “bullet” journal, it provides a fast means to note down everything in your head. Using a specific set of symbols the user can have all their to-dos, thoughts, events and ideas in one place. In using an Index system, the user can easily find information from any month of the year.

It describes itself as a type of “mindfulness practice disguised as a productivity system” and stresses the importance of the physical act of writing in our digital age, to achieve a sense of mental clarity. It is not meant to be complicated, time consuming or “pretty” (despite what you find on a quick social media search using “#bulletjournal” or “#bujo”) but a practical accompaniment to dealing with the strains of modern day life.

This book, “The Bullet Journal Method: Track Your Past, Order Your Present, Plan Your Future” is the official guide, written by its founder, Ryder Carroll. In true bujo style, I will conduct the review in brief bullet points so you can get a sense of what it contains.

Title: The Bullet Journal Method

Author: Ryder Carroll

Genre: Non-fiction, guide

My rating: ★★★★

The Review

  • This book is a ‘how to’ guide for setting up a bullet journal. It covers the origins of the method, why it’s different from other productivity methods, and gives step by step instructions on how to create your own.
  • Within the step by step instructions are snippets of commentary on the philosophies of life and the importance of mindfulness. Carroll believes this type of journaling and the act of writing things down is a type of mindfulness in itself.
  • The book stresses the importance of practicing mindfulness throughout – in framing it as a necessity for coping with the modern world and detoxing from social media.
  • It contains diagrams and illustrations on setting up a bullet journal and examples of monthly, weekly and daily “spreads” (a.k.a the pages of your journal).
  • These are incredibly useful as sometimes the text is quite bogged down in detail, it is handy to have pictures to see what the pages are supposed to be set up like.
  • It is very informative and takes you through step by step. For anyone thinking wanting to start a bullet journal, I would definitely suggest reading this cover to cover.
  • I left feeling a tad overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information in the book, but I think its a guide you can flip back to again and again as you go along. I will definitely be re-reading certain sections.
  • I really appreciated the background on the creation of the bullet journal, as it made me understand its purpose.
  • As for the method itself – I have always seen the value in writing things down as it makes my mind feel more at ease – but this method is important as it stresses journaling in its most minimalist form. (where it can be most useful to de-clutter your mind)
  • A very good guide to understanding and learning about the practice of bullet journaling, the history of its conception and why it is important in the digital age.
  • It is a tad pricey in physical form, if you have a Kindle I’d suggest buying a digital edition, which will only cost you £3.99 in the UK!

Putting the ideas into practice

Now, I’ve been awkward with this and only started half way through the year but I thought it might be interesting for you to see a few of the pages I’ve done since reading the book. I haven’t followed the symbols strictly, but I will when I start a new notebook. I really recommend the practice if you’re like me and get very overwhelmed with your emotions and thoughts – it can act as a quick form method of writing a diary, as well as increasing your productivity.

I mainly use it to track books that I read and books that I want to read. Although I use the weekly spread quite a lot too. As always, thank you for reading! 🙂