On the Simplicity of Just Being

As an overthinker, it can be easy to get distracted from the present moment. Too often I find myself paralysed with fear about the next few years, or even weeks, which detracts me from just being. It’s hard to overcome, but of late I’ve been more successful.

Tuning in with myself every morning by writing a few pages in my journal has allowed the worries I may feel to slip to one side. It doesn’t cure them, nor eradicate them, but it means that I can have a day where all my energy isn’t solely dissipated on that.

But it is in these very moments of stillness – that have become even more abundant in the second lockdown we are now living through – that I have experienced joy, a sense of peace and calamity. I’ve never been one for mass excitement, big gatherings or celebrations, as I’d much rather be with just a few people or even curled up by myself with a good book. However, during this pandemic, I have gained so much from just being.

Whether that be sitting still and listening to the sounds around me – the cry of the birds, the hum of gentle traffic – or slowly making my way through a book at my own pace. Or even, sitting in silence in the same room as my partner as we both do our own thing. Just being in the moment, recognising it and making peace with it without worrying about the future, has been, and continues to be, a great comfort for me.

Maybe I sound like an old lady way beyond my time. But maybe I don’t. During an age of mass excess, at least, the pandemic appears to have made our lives simpler. The allocation of more time spent at home has allowed some of us to spend more time with ourselves, figure out what we love and strip things back down to the basics. And isn’t this what life is really about? If we don’t know what the simple things we love in life are, then what are we striving for? In the same vein – overcomplication can often lead to apprehension and depreciation.

Taking time to be at peace and appreciate the moment instead of worrying about the future, is something I’ve learnt to recognise and started to practice this year. It’s helped me to become more present, mindful and at peace with myself.

I’m still not sure what my future holds, or where I’ll end up, but for once, I’m okay with that. I’m not having sleepless nights panicking about what kind of grand career I haven’t planned out for myself, but am, for now, content with the beauty of being. And just surviving in this thing called life. This doesn’t mean I’ve stagnated – in fact, I have a myriad of ideas. Ideas I would never have dreamed up if it wasn’t for lockdown.

I’m not sure what this post was meant to be, or quite where I was going with it. I just came on here to say hello and that I’m still here on this blog, from time to time. But I knew that I wanted to write about what I felt in this moment – which was a deep sense of inner peace, from just being.

If you’re reading this, I hope you take a moment to just be. Soak it all in, and try not to worry about tomorrow or the next day. As now is all we have.

Sending love and best wishes to everyone.

Check out my latest posts on Medium here.

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“Whatever happens tomorrow, we had today. I’ll always remember it.”

Emma Morley, One Day (David Nicholls)

Why I started journaling (consistently)

Image: pixabay

I have kept some form of diary for as long as I can remember. I look back on some of the fluffy pink diaries I kept as a child, and see the familiarity of the entries,

“Today I went to school and we did this… I ate this for dinner…. and then I went to sleep…”

this kind of repetitive entry I kept up for some years. Then I entered my teen years and it became a bit more all over the place. Most of the time I sporadically wrote snippet’s of my life. Some years I managed to keep it up solidly for a few months, and then gave up. At university I tried, but mostly failed. However, this is the first time in my life where I have been finding myself journaling, simply out of necessity.

Why I journal (now)

I decided to turn over a new leaf at the end of last year, to buy a brand new fancy notebook, with the intention that its thick pages and sleek design would motivate me to write in it. I used to be a person terrified over the prospect of ruining a nice new notebook – but now I have gotten rid of that fear I find myself writing with far more creativity than I used to.

There’s roughly four main purposes I use my journal for: organisation, keeping a diary, planning and tracking.

Organisation

I’m the kind of person who needs to write things down on paper to feel more organised in my own head. There’s nothing like the permanence of ink on paper to keep your head tidy. I use a weekly spread to plan my weeks out every month. In this I will have appointments, dates when I am working and also use it to write daily to do lists. I like to see an overview of the week to know what I am doing and to stay on top of things. I used to put this type of thing in my phone calendar, but it doesn’t offer the same satisfying visualization for me.

Train of thought and more ‘typical’ journaling

In between weekly spreads I use my journal for traditional diary writing. I write when I feel stressed, worried, anxious or when I am happy and want to document something. It usually reads like a train of thought and is disordered and chaotic, but it does the trick in clearing my mind. There’s no specific time when I write, but I usually find it’s more towards the end of the day. Most of this is nonsense, but I write with no intention of anyone ever reading it. I find that it gives me so much mental clarity and introspection.

Planning

I also like to use my journal for planning – and just about planning anything and everything. This goes for the books I want to read this year, things I want to do each moth and yearly goals. I also have a section completely dedicated to blog post ideas and what posts I want to write per month. Any time I have an idea about anything, I always make sure to write it down. I find this keeps me on track for achieving the things I want to do.

Tracking

Recently, I have been trying to track what I spend as I am trying to pay off an overdraft. I work out my (very rough) in-goings for the month and track what I am spending per week and divide them into essentials and non essentials. This way, I can really see what I am spending. As I have paperless bank statements I don’t really get physical proof of what I am spending. I also track what I have achieved in the month and sometimes how much water I drink per day – but this is something I usually forget.

What do I use?

For the notebook, I use a blank paged moleskine. I find the paper to be of very high quality (as I often write with a fountain pen this is essential). I used to always write in lined notebooks, but for planning and drawing out weekly spreads this is more appropriate. My favourite pen to write with is my twisbi mini fountain pen or my parker rollerball jotter.

Hope you enjoyed reading about why and how I use my journal and that it might inspire you to start your own!