So how was January?
I’m writing this with very mixed feelings. Most of January felt like an endless slog. Everyday I had a new rejection and the weight of not being able to find a job took its toll.
However, today (on the last day of the month) I have found out that I have secured a job, so hooray! I no longer have to feel like a complete mess.
As many people say, January always feels like the worst month of the year. My first experience of 2020 wasn’t great. I sent out nearly 100 job applications and got rejected from most of them, I have had many rejections from national newspapers (again) and have generally felt a bit lost.
I still don’t know what to do about finding this ‘career’ us graduates are expected to get… but I still have time so that’s what matters.
But what I have felt happy about, and inspired by, is this blog. This blog may still be small and insignificant but compared to what it started out as, at the beginning of the month, I feel very proud. I started 2020 with just 19 followers, I now have nearly 30. Over the course of the month, I have achieved 251 new views and 47 likes on posts I have written. The numbers are small in the grand scheme of things, but nonetheless, it is progress.
I have realised that posting regularly and engaging within the WordPress community, really plays a big role in building up a following. My writing on here isn’t solely about gaining some kind of reception. I write above all, for me. I find this little corner of the internet that I have crafted myself, somewhat reassuring in times when I feel lonely and losing hope. I know I will always be able to bash out a blog post and feel a sense of achievement (even if it’s a bad one!)
After struggling over the past three years at university with reading for pleasure, I managed to read five books this month, but yes, I am still persevering with Ducks, Newburyport (will it ever end?).
Above all, this month I obtained my degree – which was quite a special moment, and one which drew a line under my time at university. It was a bittersweet day, but one I shall always remember. Although I feel panicked because I am officially a graduate, I am becoming more okay with the idea that I have no idea what I am doing, sort of.
This month I also finally got back into exercising regularly (cliche I know, as so has everyone else by the state of my gym) and feel far better for it. Lifting weights has always given me a sense of mental clarity.
However, this month, and this day in particular, is tinted with a bit of sadness for me. Today is the final day that Britain will be part of the E.U. I voted to remain and will always hold the view that Britain is better when it is part of a more global and outward looking community. But, I know that I have to put these views aside so that the country can attempt to try and move forward from the political rupture that was created. I just hope that he doesn’t make too much of a mess of it.
I feel at odds with the Labour party and have no idea who to vote for in the coming months. My heart leans towards Rebecca Long Bailey but none of the contenders fill me with the same amount of hope, passion and inspiration as Jeremy Corbyn did when I was 17. Part of me just doesn’t know what to think…
January had its ups and downs, but I am very glad to be ending it on a positive note. by securing a job. Onward and upwards as they say!
Quote of the month
“Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let us not forget this.”Dave Eggers